ENGLEWOOD — Camp Covid officially began at 9:42 a.m. Wednesday on the grassy berm at the Broncos’ UCHealth Training Center. A kid wearing a Phillip Lindsay jersey committed the unforgivable sin of sliding his left foot a few inches beyond the string separating the clean from the unclean.

“Stay behind the rope!” a security guard barked at the 9-year-old. “COVID protocols!”

The closest Bronco was Brandon McManus — 50, 60 yards away. The kicker turned to look.

Come to think of it, next time I forget to change our kid’s diaper, that’s going to be my excuse: COVID protocols! Same for laundry and washing dishes, or missing deadline at The Gazette.

COVID protocols!

What I learned on Day 1 of Broncos training camp is that the end of COVID hysteria is no closer now than it was when the goons promised “two weeks to slow the spread” 70 weeks ago.

It just goes on … and on … with no off-ramp in sight — even with a vaccine. Three, in fact.

PHOTOS: Broncos training camp 2021

Oh, and Jerry Jeudy is really stinkin’ good. He’s the best player on the Broncos roster. Watch.

Here’s how it looked in case you weren’t one of the 800 getting yelled at on the grassy berm:

9:22 a.m.: Celebrity softball star Von Miller orchestrates a sunburned crowd in a clapping exercise. Above all else, Von remains an entertainer. But the Broncos will take it easy with No. 58.

“We’re going to manage him just because of his age,” Vic Fangio said.

Ouch. Is 32 old now? One time I made the mistake of asking DeMarcus Ware how his priorities had changed with age. He shot back, “Are you saying I’m old?” Then he won the Super Bowl.

Maybe that’s Fangio’s plan with Von.

10:02: QB1A Drew Lock completes a pass in 11-on-11 drills. Denver’s 104.3 The Fan has billed the quarterback competition with Lock and Teddy Bridgewater as “50-50.” Fangio joked he might just “flip a coin” to choose a QB. Hopefully their completion percentage isn’t 50-50.

10:03: QB1AA Teddy Bridgewater is on his fourth team in seven years. “I’m a survivor,” he says after Day 1. He adds you can drop him in a jungle and he’ll emerge in a fur coat. Survival skills are nice with the Chiefs scheduled twice.

10:04: The Broncos already should have announced Lock or Bridgewater as the starting QB. This splitting-reps thing is for the birds. The Chiefs, Chargers and Raiders aren’t splitting QB reps in camp. Come on, guys. Pick a QB. Carpe QB. Name the starting QB by Aug. 10 and switch to the other guy when it doesn’t work.

10:06: Teddy hits Courtland Sutton for a short completion. Gosh, it’s good to see Sutton back in action, talking trash and taking names. I don’t expect Sutton will be 100-percent awesome this season coming off knee surgery. But his emotional leadership was sorely missed.

10:10: Jeudy snags a first down in traffic. The pass came from Bridgewater, with whom Jeudy has a noticeable chemistry. That’s an interesting element in this QB conundrum: Do the wide receivers get a vote? Jeudy has been much more productive when Bridgewater’s the man.

10:11: Jeudy is the best player on the Broncos roster. Did I mention that yet?

10:12: Bridgewater attempts a deep ball in 11-on-11 drills. While Lock is touted as the risk-taking gunslinger, his first completion goes for 3 yards. While Bridgewater is often called the safe choice, his first pass attempt soars 40 yards through the air. So much for reputations.

“I feel like I’m a smarter player now,” Lock says after. “I feel like the chances I do take are calculated chances.”

10:14: A few weeks ago, Lock took a calculated chance by driving (instead of flying) home to Kansas City. While cruising through Kansas a semi-truck lost a tire and the tire bounded into his lane on Interstate 70. “Dodged the tire,” he says, but a lug nut smashed into his windshield. Shook, he stayed home in K.C. for a few extra days. “It was pretty freaky,” Lock says.

10:26: The Gazette’s Woody Paige laid out the Aaron Rodgers plans: “Next year, he would be traded to the Broncos.” I sent ‘Drow’s column to the Klee fam in Wisconsin. They replied with a story from the Appleton Post Crescent: “Fat Seagull brewery debuts new beer, Cry Baby 12.”

Funny, if Rodgers ends up in Colorado, Bristol Brewing is sure to unveil “The QB Savior 12.”

10:28: Bridgewater hits Jeudy for another first down. He’s their best player — Jeudy, not Teddy.

10:30: Lock drills Trinity Benson in the end zone. Touchdown, Denver! The first of camp.

11:09: Lock hits Jeudy for another score. He’s the best player, you know — Jeudy, not Lock.

11:33: Oh, nothing to see here: the CDC confirmed Wednesday that vaccinated people still transmit COVID-19 — but their own symptoms will be mild. In normal people’s terms, the vaccinated could be asymptomatic spreaders. So the Broncos are in a good news/bad news situation. They’re 95-percent vaccinated, according to 9News’ Mike Klis, but now they have a locker room full of potential asymptomatic spreaders. Hey, that’s not me saying it. That’s the CDC saying it.

Yep, it goes on … and on … and on. At least Pfizer will see $33.5 billion in vaccine sales this year. Maybe Pfizer should buy the Broncos.

11:46: Oops, forgot to pick up diapers on the drive home.

COVID protocols!