ENGLEWOOD • K.J. Hamler is often making others laugh at Broncos practice. 

The speedy wide receiver is considered one of the funniest players on the roster, being known for his goofy and outgoing personality that tends to lead to smiles among his teammates and coaches.

But on Monday, during his 13-minute media availability, Hamler candidly shared his battle with his mental health over the past year. An emotional Hamler detailed his recovery from a torn ACL in September to the passing of his grandmother in January — two incidents he said put him “at the lowest point” of his life.   

“It’s been a tough journey, to be honest,” Hamler said. “The devil was on my back for a while. I wish I would have never did it by myself. I wish I would have asked for help. … At one point I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be in this world. There was one point I just didn’t want to be on Earth no more.”

Hamler, 23, had high hopes a season ago, planning to be a large part of the Broncos’ offense. But after landing wrong on a catch attempt in Week 3, he was sidelined for the season with a knee and hip injury, taking him away from the team as he rehabbed. 

“You kind of feel like you’re not apart of the team anymore,” Hamler said. “But the group I’m in, the receiving group I’m in, guys checked on me, called me all the time. I wasn’t able to be present or physically there, but they always called me and I appreciate them.” 

And three months after his knee and hip surgeries, Hamler’s grandmother, Ethel Gooding, died. Hamler said Gooding was more like a mother to him growing up, as he often spent most of his time with her when visiting home. She was the “love of my life,” he said.

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“That was my mother,” Hamler said. “I took her to get her hair done. Took her to get food. Every time I came home, I saw her first. I called her every Monday. So when I missed that call on that Monday (before she passed) and then we got the call on Saturday — there’s a lot of regret in my heart from that. … It still kind of haunts me to this day, even though I’m better.

“When you lose the woman who raised you, it’s a different feeling.” 

Hamler said he’s spent the past few months trying to dig himself out of the hole he’s been in. He said he was in a “cocoon” for a long time before beginning to talk with his parents, teammates and coaches about his mental health. During this past offseason, Hamler said some practices he would just cry on the sidelines. 

Since then, he’s been going to therapy and has been more vulnerable and open about sharing his mental battles. He’s no longer afraid to share his emotions. 

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“We’re just used to bottling stuff up and just taking it to the chin a lot,” Hamler said. “As a man, we’re always taught to be tough or just block everything out. But that’s just not the prime example of a masculine man. Sometimes you’ve just got to let it out. Sometimes you need help. But I’m just starting to learn that now.” 

Hamler also said the biggest cure has been getting back on the field. He was officially activated off the PUP list Monday and is expected to be back for the season, again hoping to be a key part of the offense. 

But for Hamler, getting back on the field was never his biggest hurdle. It was the challenges off the field Hamler had to overcome and is stilling battling today. 

He is, though, starting to feel like his old, goofy and outgoing self again. And what he did Monday — speaking publicly about his internal battles — was not only a step in the right direction for him and his state of mind, but also a courageous and inspiring moment for others who are also struggling with mental health. 

“Football brought me back to life, and I’m grateful for that,” Hamler said. “I’m not perfect. I’m human. I’m not afraid to tell you all what I’ve been going through. It’s been a tough year. But you see me where I’m at right now. I’m still here and I’m still working to be the best version of myself. I know everyone around here is proud of me and I’m proud of myself from step one to right now, and I’ve just got to keep pushing from there.”

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