I was born in the wrong time.

For instance, I completely missed the sexual revolution of the 1970s when people were having casual sex like it was shaking hands. As an eager young man with hopeful bad judgment and a rupturing libido, I couldn’t wait till I was old enough to join the party.

Finally, when old enough I bounded through the front door of the free-love fest just as the last viable woman was boogeying out the back door. I was left standing alone in an empty room littered with Zima bottles and “Afternoon Delight” by the Starland Vocal Band still rotating on the turntable.

Yep, I was coming of age just as herpes and AIDS were also coming of age, crushing the certainty of me becoming a young Hugh Hefner. They say the secret to humor is timing. God, the comedian, has remarkable timing.

President Ronald Reagan and wife Nancy were preaching “just say no.” I heard “no” so often I thought it was my first name. I swear if Jimmy Carter had just won a second term I could have had the sexual prowess of Mick Jagger. (OK, maybe not Mick, but at least the bass player from the Pretenders or something.)

In high school, there were rumors of a lecherous male teacher getting it on with an underage girl. And sure enough, when the girl turned 18, she married the teacher. Stories like that were not uncommon, causing outrage in fathers planetwide.

My school had some attractive young lady teachers, yet none of them were messing with the boy students, despite what Van Halen’s “Hot For Teacher” guaranteed us. And why would they? Have you seen high school boys?

As an adult, well after high school, came the flurry of news stories uncovering hot female teachers having trysts with schoolboys. I remember a story of one smoke-show of a teacher going to jail for sleeping with an underage boy student. When she got out, he turned 18, so love conquers all.

Stories like these made mothers irate, worried their innocent boys could be the next hurt by an older woman in a position of trust. Though, really, the only injury the boy would suffer would be from excessive high-fives. And I’m sure his father could conjure an angry face when needed while hiding his injured hand from the high-fives he got at bowling night.

Thus is the nature of the sexual double-standard. And, as a man, I say: “What? What double standard?”

But what do we do with this one? Shaun Boyd of Denver’s Channel 4 broke the story of a female Columbine High School teacher successfully grooming a female student.

The story here isn’t just a modern lesbian twist to the old story of forbidden love between teacher and student. (Yep, I’m hearing “Don’t Stand So Close To Me” by The Police, too). The story is about the perversion of the educational system to encourage the sexual targeting of students.

Instead of immediately firing the teacher, Leann Kearney, and informing the student’s parents of the situation, administrators kept the truth from the parents. They even helped the student lie on a federal form stating she was homeless so she could live with the teacher.

When the mom discovered the form and a letter describing Kearney and her daughter kissing, along with thousands of inappropriate emails and texts, she foolishly contacted the school principal. He, of course, dismissed her concern explaining, “Ms. Kearney takes interest in helping kids navigate their sexuality.”

Finally, the teacher was fired. The student turned 18. The two now live together out of state.

Sexual grooming in public schools has become so commonplace, so virtued by the educational class, parents are labeled the enemy by official policy. Let’s remember the new Colorado law that students may choose their gender and rename themselves without the parents’ approval or knowledge.

Beginning with first graders indoctrinated with “The Genderbread Person,” which teaches kids changing your gender is as easy as changing a gingerbread man to a woman, to being forced to proclaim your pronouns in class, modern government education is pushing itself into the sexual coaching of your kids without your knowledge or consent.

Only the modern public education system could make lecherous male teachers of yesteryear hitting on high school girls look wholesome by comparison.

Jon Caldara is president of the Independence Institute in Denver and hosts “The Devil’s Advocate with Jon Caldara” on Colorado Public Television Channel 12. His column appears Sundays in Colorado Politics.