With Valentine’s Day around the corner, Coloradans may not realize their partner may lack savings from spending too much on outdoor gear. Or that they have substantial credit card debt while paying the minimum amount. 

A new romance can be great at first, but finances can quickly sour a relationship.

Couples should talk about finances sooner rather than later, according to the Credit Union of Colorado, which offers financial consulting for individuals or couples who have joint accounts or are considering one.

The financial institution suggested couples should set time to talk about money habits regularly, share each other’s credit scores and go over debts to find red flags or decide how to manage finances together. 

In this Q&A, Credit Union of Colorado’s Central Park Branch Manager Delbert Young, discussed with the Denver Gazette what couples should look out for: 

Denver Gazette: What are some common mistakes people make when it comes to talking about money with their new partner?

Young: I just helped a couple yesterday that was having a consultation about this very similar topic as far as “when do we combine banking” and “we have individual debts.” The most common mistake that I see is not talking about it at all, or avoiding it … You may not realize that your partner may be in a situation that you’re not comfortable with until you’re already committed emotionally and have been in the relationship for a long time.

Someone may have a lot more student loan debt than you thought. Someone might be comfortable carrying large balances on credit cards and making minimum monthly payments with that. Someone may not budget or save.

These are things that are easy to overlook when you’re in the honeymoon period.

DG: At what point in a relationship should a couple broach the subject?

Young: It’s really going to be an individual decision. It’s different for different people. For someone it might be something for the first date. “These are my non-negotiables. Where do you sit with this?” And someone else may be comfortable getting to know that person and maybe weighing in other factors in addition to their financial background.

DG: What are the most contentious financial issues between couples?

Young: You may not want to marry or date into a financial hole … If you meet someone with $20-30 grand in credit card debt and you do advance towards getting married, even if you have separate finances, that essentially becomes partially your responsibility as well.

DG: What are some ways people can know if they have financial compatibility?

Young: Through communication. You just have to talk about it. Very similar to maybe discussing whether or not you want to have children or buy a house or travel. You have to talk, you have to be open, and you have to be honest.

DG: In Denver, with its sometimes nickname “Menver,” does it help women have a little bit more power in a relationship when it comes to talking about finances?

Young: Women have all the power regardless of the ratio. If you know something that is important to you, you should carry yourself with an understanding about leverage, regardless of availability of prospects. Don’t settle.

If you know that you do not want to be bogged down with credit cards or different types of loans or maybe getting into a relationship with somebody that has a past bankruptcy — and it’s gonna make it difficult to ever buy a house or get a car do some of these things — why waste time right?

If that’s going to be a deal breaker then I would rather know sooner than later.

DG: What are some things that singles can do to prepare financially for a future relationship?

Young: Minimize debt. Create a budget. And if you do have negative history, try to start remedying that sooner than later as far as paying off collections, getting back into positive status, seeking resources for budgeting or credit repair.

Do as much of that as you can now as opposed to waiting because it will benefit you whether you remain single or enter into a relationship.