For our intrepid American lads and everybody else on a holy futbol quest for the World Cup, consider these words your marching orders:

Shut up. Smile pretty. And get in line behind the arrogant French.

When the USMNT takes the pitch Wednesday on its home turf against a side representing not one, but two melded countries that most Americans couldn’t find on a map, you can bet that somewhere in the red, white and blue crowd, an adorable little kid will be waving a homemade sign that declares:

Why not U.S.?

This Yankee Doodle Dandy bandwagon is running more out of control than Alexi Lalas’ mouth.

And truth be told, as a longtime lover of the beautiful game, that’s more than cool by me.

In every corner of the country, soccer is enjoying its grand, stand-up-and-chant “U-S-A!” coming-out party, just in time for Uncle Sam’s 250th birthday.

Ain’t no stopping us now. We love punching the sky in the eye with a “We’re No. 1” finger here in ‘Murica.

If most of us can’t name one player from either Bosnia or Herzegovina, there’s no way the mighty USMNT can get knocked out of this tournament in the round of 32.

Right?

Hans and Franz, or whoever laces up their boots for the B&H boys, would be “better off not even getting on the team plane,” according to U.S. soccer legend Tim Howard.

Well, before you start talking smack and ask somebody to hold your beer, may I humbly suggest listening to USMNT coach Mauricio Pochettino for a hotter than the Fourth of July minute?

“I think we are going to struggle,” Pochettino warned reporters on the eve of a match in California. He refused to buy the idea that his Americans are prohibitive -270 favorites against Bosnia and Herzegovina, which implies the USMNT has a 73 percent chance of winning in regulation time.

While the Americans have a decided advantage in both the athleticism exhibited by striker Folarin Balogun and the fine soccer-motor skills of Christian Pulisic, the U.S. coach has reason to be nervous.

The American men have never felt the weight of the whole country on their backs as ain’t-no-stopping-us-now favorites in soccer.

“We don’t have another opportunity if we fail,” Pochettino said.

In nearly a century of World Cup history, American men have almost always been expected to collect their participation ribbons and go home early.

Deep tourney runs are foreign to the U.S.

And so is the accompanying pressure.

Let me put the tactics of Bosnia and Herzegovina in simple language that won’t require you to rush to the pronunciation guide of captain Edin Dzeko.

These guys are as rugged as the mountainous Balkan country they represent. They like to muck it up, changing formation on the fly, in the hope of creating just enough confusion to slow the pace of play. And they like to foul. A lot. Bet that Pulisic gets knocked on his keister in the opening 20 minutes.

If the USMNT can get Bosnia and Herzegovina on its back foot early, score first and force this ornery foe out of its shell, the soccer could be another fun excuse for a wild-and-crazy display of patriotism.

But if the game bogs down, it could be a long, tense slog. “We are seeing,” Pochettino said, “in all the games after the group stage how difficult it is.”

Well, ain’t that the truth?

But it’s also a reason for the U.S. to believe anything is possible.

Germany, the world’s most dominant soccer power in the early part of this century, got das boot sunk by a nondescript Paraguay side.

The Netherlands, thinking this could finally be its time to hoist the Cup, got too weary to pop a shot late in regulation and then shot the soccer equivalent of air balls during penalties in a loss to Morocco.

While 39-year-old Lionel Messi seems to be aging in reverse, many of the world’s top-10 soccer powers, including defensively fragile England and frustratingly inconsistent Spain, have shown signs of being vulnerable and oh-so-beatable.

The one exception?

France.

Its 3-nil victory crafted by Kylian Mbappe and Les Bleus over Sweden in the round of 32 shouted as loudly and arrogantly as anything I’ve witnessed since that French taunter dissed King Arthur during a hilarious diatribe from the Monty Python’s 1975 classic movie about another kind of quest for a holy grail:

“I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!”

Well, in this American summer of soccer dreams come true, might as well make it a crazy big one.

Get past the jitters to beat Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the USMNT can go back to being scrappy underdogs. But there’s nobody the Americans can’t beat on their half of the bracket until the semifinals, where they could plant the flag and make a stand deep in the heart of Texas against France.

Why not U.S.?