At age 34, the Rockies are taking baby steps in the only race they can win.

Are you ready for this?

Instead of stumbling toward baseball infamy, this new-and-improved 2026 version of our lovable losers might not be the worst in the major leagues.

When the Rockies beat Arizona 4-2 Saturday, they actually resembled a professional and competent ballclub.

Let’s check the standings.

With the victory, Colorado moved 1 1/2 games ahead of the Los Angeles Angels in what promises to be a battle from now through September to finish with the 29th-best record among 30 big-league teams.

And that’s not all!

This clutch W put the Rockies back on pace to finish 63-99, giving them hope not to lose 100 games for the first time since 2022.

Be still my heart. And pinch me to make certain I’m not dreaming.

So you’re saying there’s a chance that Coors Field will no longer be home to the Hundy Dumpties?

Way back on Opening Day, I declared that if the Rockies slashed 20 losses off the 119 they suffered last season, new President of Baseball Operations Paul DePodesta deserved to be named the major leagues’ Executive of the Year.

In their 34th season as a member of the National League, maybe the Rockies have finally bought a clue.

On a beautiful spring day when he was so sick that Tomoyuki Sugano probably should’ve stayed in bed, the 36-year-old veteran earned the 150th victory of a professional career that started in Japan before moving to the U.S.

“I’m obviously happy about it, but it’s just another win,” Sugano said. “I want to look forward to the 151st win.”

Unfazed by working with traffic on the base paths or pounding the strike zone with his sinker at 5,280 feet above sea level, Sugano went five solid innings to record his fourth victory in his first season on the bump for Colorado.

How about this fun stat as a measure of how hard it has been to find competent, professional starting pitching for the Rockies? Sugano has a real shot to be the first Colorado hurler to win 10 games in a season since German Marquez won 12 times way back in 2021.

The main thing that could prevent Sugano from recording double-digit victories in a Rockies uniform? If he pitches so well that DePodesta can’t resist trade offers for him at the deadline.

At this point in the long rebuilding process, it’s hard to get attached to any player in the Colorado dugout. While the team gave away T-shirts honoring catcher Hunter Goodman, the painfully slow starts at the plate by shortstop Ezequiel Tovar and center fielder Brenton Doyle call into question whether they are foundational or transitional pieces in the franchise’s extreme makeover.

The best feel-good story and the biggest revelation of this young season isn’t a product of DePodesta’s acumen, but the last meaningful gift to the ballclub by his much-criticized predecessor, former general manager Bill Schmidt.

During spring training of 2025, Schmidt took a $1 million flier on outfielder Mickey Moniak, labeled a bust after never living up to the expectations thrust upon him when Philadelphia made him the No. 1 overall pick of the draft as a teenage phenom out of California way back in 2016.

Having already belted 12 homers and sporting a robust OPS of 1.020, Moniak seems like a lock to be Colorado’s representative at the All-Star Game if his bat keeps sizzling well after Memorial Day.

Can Moniak endear himself with the Colorado fan base quickly enough to make it difficult for the Rockies to use him as trade bait for younger prospects more likely to be contributors when the team is ready to compete for a playoff spot?

The die-hard loyalty of Colorado fans who love catching rays at the ballpark gives DePodesta the option of trading anybody on the roster.

In a city in the throes of Stanley Cup fever, 34,405 of my closest friends and I spent a weekend afternoon with a baseball team whose main selling point is: Things can only get better, because they can’t get worse.

No wonder Broncos CEO Greg Penner and the Walton family invested in the very rich neighborhood of $700 million for a 40% piece of the Rockies ownership action.

Can you imagine what a money-printing madhouse Coors Field would be if this baseball club ever won 100 games in a season?

The Hundy Dumpties are putting back the pieces again.